Thursday, March 13, 2008

falling off the wagon

(I'm terribly behind on mostly everything in my life right now thanks to some large, last-minute work projects that have been owning me for the last few weeks. This entire post is about the month of February. Please close your browser now if you have no desire to live in the past with me.)

The last half of February was not good for me and my resolutions.

Work sucked, which led to lots of late nights and weekends spent in the good ol' office, which led to not having the energy to cook... or even go to the grocery store, really. Plus, my fridge was acting up for a while, so I was hesitant to put anything in there that could spoil. All month, I think I cooked a total of three things, and two of them were probably cheese omelettes. Healthy, huh?

(Side note... I've eaten three Cadbury Eggs today. I walked into my office this morning to find two boxes sitting on top of my desk - a present from a coworker for whom I'd done a favor last week. He knows they're just about my favorite candy, and he wanted to give me something I'd enjoy... and I'm totally appreciative of his thoughtfulness... but I don't think he realized the enormity of the mistake he'd made. Now I'm on a sugar high, my fingers are sticky, and I kinda feel like I might throw up.)

Early into last month, I decided to temporarily give up on Great Expectations. For the second time since 9th grade. I made it much further this time, though - a little over halfway. But........ I'd been reading it since January 1st and "officially" gave up around February 10. That's depressing. What's more is that GE had started to make me think of reading as a chore instead of something I loved and looked forward to doing.

So just when I made the painful decision to put it aside but keep it on the top of the pile, I realized that February's book for Reading Dangerously is The Bluest Eye, which I've been looking forward to rereading since I first found this challenge at Andi's place in December. I figured if anyone could rekindle my passion for reading, it would definitely be Toni Morrisson. Sorry, Chuck.

But what's this? I can't find my copy anywhere? Oh, that's right, I loaned it to a friend a few months ago... a friend who moved away and with whom I'm now required to schedule visits months in advance. So instead of picking up another book to replace The Bluest Eye for February, I ended up not reading anything. Unless you count last month's issue of Shape... which I don't.

I've had some emergencies come up in the last month that have exhausted the paltry savings I had to begin with, and it's been hard to get back on track since then. But I'm not going to let it get me down - emergency funds are the exact reason I wanted to have a savings account to begin with, so I'm treating this as a test. It worked. Now I'll start over.

For a while, I was doing really great. I could drum my fingers on the table AND ACTUALLY HEAR MY LITTLE NAILS CLICKING BACK AT ME. Then I had a minor freakout over something stupid and bit them all off. Then I decided to get back on the wagon and start over. Then I freaked out about some other stupid thing and chewed my cuticles. They've been in a perpetually bitten-down state since then. As soon as I see some white growth, I work like mad to nibble it off. I really am twisted.

This is the only one I've been doing really well with, and I owe most of it to the x365 challenge. Just making my list of people (I have over 200 now!) was really inspirational and helped me remember a couple incidents from my past that made for some entertaining writing. It's been a good pre-bedtime activity, and just making time to be in front of the computer for a non-work-related writing task every night has helped get me into a routine - it's easy to write my x365 story for the day and segue right into another story from a previous night.

Also, I've been making an effort to blog more consistently (although my track record for the last week has been awful). I used to go for months without posting, and I really think it had something to do with the fact that I was just bored with my blog. I was reading all these stories on other sites about people dating, getting married, having babies, adopting puppies, changing careers, and it was so easy to get discouraged with my own lack of entertaining writing. But somewhere along the road I decided that I would just need to make do with what I have, and if what I have isn't marriage or babies, puppies or awesome jobs, then that was just fine. I'd write about what I did have: an overactive imagination, several neuroses, obsessive compulsive tendencies, and frizzy hair.

I haven't been too shabby with this one, either. I've gone through all the pictures on my laptop and sent away for prints. Next step will be to get some awesome photo albums and organize. I think I'll also write labels and quick summaries on the back of all or most of them, just in case I get so senile one day that I don't remember the names of my hott college friends. I think my next project in the way of photography will be making sure to bring my camera out with me more often when I visit friends and family.

Here's to a more productive March (now that we're like halfway through it) and climbing back on the wagon for good. Except for St. Patrick's Day. As any good Irish lass would do, I'm giving myself a get-out-of-jail-free card for all days surrounding the blessed event. Because even though I've never made corned beef, nothing's going to stop me from enjoying my mom's. And what's corn beef without a couple pints of Guinness? Nothing. That's what.


KC said...

I bite my nails too - it is vile and disgusting and I absolutely cannot stop myself. Sometimes I pay ridiculous amounts of money to get fake nails put on, then I never keep up with them and my nails look disgusting as the fakies grow out and may nails become more brittle from the treatment. If you ever find a way to quit - help a sister out!

I quit SMOKING and I can't stop biting my nails. So weird.

Becky said...

We all slip now and again. I thought Great Expectations was quite possibly the worst book I have ever read.

MissHum22 said...

THANK YOU! I freaking HATED that book! It was torture. So looong and flowery and about a total a-hole to boot! :P

I liked Cat's Eye (this month's selection)It was long, but worth it. It was the story, not the writing, that made it so.