Wednesday, March 23, 2005

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."

Today, I kind of hate guys.

I mean... I'm not a fem-nazi... I wouldn't even call myself a feminist (which is why Women's Literature was one of the hardest classes I've ever taken at SJC). I don't think women are superior and I don't think everyone should listen to us roar... by any means. I'm just kind of annoyed that guys take such a precedence over our feelings and opinions.

My friends are some of the most beautiful people in the world. They are smart, funny, talented, and compassionate. They are teachers, writers, dancers, singers, and musicians. They are successful and proud. But with one ill-ly raised eyebrow or insensitive comment from a guy, all of that becomes insignificant. Good deeds, selfless actions, and academic acomplishments become obsolete in the face of a forgotten phone call.

Nothing gets to me more than that. To hear one of my friends cry about a guy who doesn't love her as much as she loves him, to hear her doubt herself and everything she's done with her life thus far... I can't even handle it. No guys come up to her at the bar one night, and all of the sudden she's a horrible person and no one will ever want to be with her. I'll admit, that amount of over-analyzation is partly my friend's fault, but, nonetheless, it's amazing how much attention from men (or lack thereof) can govern our emotions.

It's a powerful thing, both to have such control over another person and to give that control away. Walls can crumble, hearts can be broken, pedestals can topple over, and self-worth can be crushed. Sometimes the hardest part, though, is sticking around to see the storm pass and cleaning up the debris... picking up the shattered pieces of the walls and pedestals and trying to rebuild them.

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