Wednesday, January 16, 2008

american idol - philly

Okay, here's the thing. I love American Idol. I used to be ashamed of this fact, but somewhere around Season 5, I just decided to come out of the non-gay closet. If I was a cute little girl that Simon and Randy would love, I'd try out in a heartbeat. But, as it stands, I'm left to live vicariously through the lives of those more courageous and confident than I. And, because I'm so deluded that I sometimes actually think people want to hear my opinions, I'm going to start doing weekly recaps.

(I sort of feel like my writers are on strike, too... I want to keep blogging, but I'm kinda having a hard time writing anything touching or comedic or inspirational or entertaining. So I'm gonna go with the blogging equivalent of Celebrity Apprentice or another what-have-you of awful reality TV filler.)

AI: Philly (1/15/08)

I was so pumped before, during, and after these auditions. What a great round! We saw some wonderful talent, some hilarious rejects, and some So-Paula moments. All in all, the perfect televised audition.

  • Joey - The lovable guy who lost 200 pounds before auditioning. He had an inspirational story, a great attitude, and a killer voice. I loved him. It definitely didn't hurt that he sang one of my all-time favorite songs: Maroon Five's "Sunday Morning." Sadly, I don't think he'll make it very far on the show... not unless he gets himself some confidence. PASS.

  • Junot - I probably should just be honest - I love me some black men. I really do. I'd be so very happy if a gorgeous black man with a voice to die for stole the show this year. Junot could just be that show stealer. He sang Elton's "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" and called it "The Blues," which was cute in a clueless sort of way, but he was most definitely awesome. PASS.

  • Temptress - Was anyone else bawling before she even made it through her song? I hate it when they give you the whole back story about people, make you completely love them, and then send them packing because they end up sucking hard. Poor Temptress. I absolutely loved that the judges were so careful with her feelings and even followed her out to meet her family. Saps like me just ate this audition right up. I was crying pretty much the entire time. No shame, and... NO PASS.

  • Alexis - This girl completely freaked me - and probably the majority of America - out. Between the glitter, her weird blinking habit, and that tongue thing she did at the end... I'll be having nightmares about this chick for at least a week. Oh, also: I AM GOING FOR ACTRESSING!!!!!!!!! NO PASS.

  • Angela - Chicago, represent! I'd like to be friends with her and give her little girl a hug. I thought Angela had a great voice, and at first I disagreed with the judges calling her out on the snapping, "ha-s!," and whatnot... but after seeing her recap on the news about forty times this morning, I'm a believer. I still think she had a beautiful voice, and I enjoyed watching her perform... but the extras have got to go. PASS.

  • Kristi Lee - I really think that only a handful of people in this world can sing "Amazing Grace" the way it was meant to be sung... and Kristi Lee is most definitely one of those people. She rocked. I loved that she sold a horse to get to the auditions, and she traveled a long way to be in Philly. I think she'll be at the top of the country females this season. PASS.

  • Paul, the Paula lover - um, that was the best song of all time, if only for his incredible use of a Jimmie Walker reference. This guy is sort of my hero. I thought he was hilarious!! Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that he didn't write a stalker song about me. NO PASS.

  • Chris - I cannot tell you how much I hate the song "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker. There's just something about it that scratches at my very being like nails on a larger-than-life chalkboard. This dreadlocked honey could sing, though. (Can't believe I just wrote "dreadlocked honey.") I loved his voice, and I wouldn't be surprised if he made it pretty far in the competition. He reminded me quite a bit of Antwon from Season 4, what with being gorgeous and braided... I just hope he has better luck. PASS.

  • Princess Lea Christina - I just want to know where she found REMOVABLE PRINCESS LEA BUNS. This chick and Alexis should get together for a delusional, freaky-deaky tea party or something. Christina is single-handedly doing her part to revive the word "DUH!!!!" and it kind of hurts my heart a little. NO PASS.

What a great start to the season - I can't wait to see what's next!


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