Thursday, April 12, 2007

It's funny sometimes how quickly your life can be put into perspective. I woke up this morning hating the alarm clock, pleased to be awake only when I remembered the cold pizza leftover in the fridge. I walked into the office this morning planning to make fun of Jake - call his phone a couple times and hang up. Maybe make a joke or two about what a nerd I am that I was excited to find a typo on CNN's scrolling news banner this morning.

Then - at the risk of using a cliche - everything changed in an instant.

I had barely even removed my coat when I got a message informing me that a coworker had passed away last night. At first I didn't believe it - "but she's young and healthy," I said. What I didn't dare say aloud was but she's my friend, and I love her. It took ten minutes of denial and speculation and nervous whispers before it was confirmed.

My first thought was how I only gave her a hurried wave in the hallway yesterday. I was busy and not in the best mood. I didn't feel like stopping to talk, even though she could have cheered me right up. I was content in my sour mood. I thought I'll go up and see her tomorrow when I'm feeling better.

My second thought was of her granddaughter. I was about her age when my great-grandmother passed away, and I hardly remember her at all. I have two or three choppy memories of us together and one from her funeral, but that's it. I hate to think that this sweet little girl will barely remember the grandma she loved so much when she's a grown woman.

My third thought was how much this place is going to change without her. Everyone hopes to make an impact on the world during their time... and she most definitely did. She was the happiest, most cheerful person I think I'll ever meet in my life - there wasn't any bad news she couldn't turn around. My building is silent and somber today, and it will be for a time, but it won't stay that way forever. She'll turn this bad news around, too, and our hearts will be warmed with the memories of the effortless sunshine she brought to our lives and the special way she impacted all of us.

Love you.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a terrible tragedy. I am sorry for your loss. At risk of sounding cliche, it kinda makes want to tell everybody you care about how much you cherish them. How did she pass, if i can ask?

-drew (├óll§)

Becky said...

I haven't seen you sign that name in years... completely forgot you used to use that.

We're not really sure... she died peacefully in her sleep.

Thanks for reading, Drew.