The blogging equivalent of purging and binging.

Two weeks of nothing, and then two posts in one day.

I just couldn't pass this up; I think it's hilarious. I read about it first on Earl, Interrupted!, and then as I was doing my own, I found a number of other sites featuring the same game.

Here's how you play: Google your name and the word "needs," all in quotation marks (ie: "Becky needs"), then share the ten funniest hits.

1. Becky needs a bullet in her head.
2. Becky needs a psychiatrist.
3. Becky needs to be given proper credit.
4. Becky needs more friends because she's so lonely.
5. Becky needs individualized attention and specialized help.
6. Becky needs to blackmail a friend to get information about her blind date.
7. Becky needs a new wardrobe.
8. Becky needs sex.
9. Becky needs to contact you, please.
10. Becky needs a nap.

It's like a little self-contained story.

Becky is depressed and sometimes believes that a bullet to the brain is the answer. Because of this belief, she is trying to get help. She and her psychiatrist ultimately determine that she's depressed because she is never given proper credit for her hard work. The solution: make more friends and continue seeing the shrink for additional help along the way. In an effort to begin her emotionally-healthy lifestyle, she makes some new friends... and promptly sets out to blackmail one who was kind enough to set her up on a date. Blackmail or not, she is excited about her date and realizes that she simply must have something new to wear because it's been a while and she is horny. Like most women, after she and her date consummate their lust, she gets clingy and demands a phone number from her man. The events come full circle when she arrives again at depression after seven unreturned phone calls and one hastily-written e-mail in which her man declares he'll be living in Yemen for an undisclosed amount of time; she can do nothing but sleep and eat Ben & Jerry's.

And the little curly-haired girl lives happily ever after.

Thanks, Google!