Monday, December 05, 2005

Growing Up, Looking for a Place to Live


I spent last Saturday with my mom, dad, and brother. I cannot put into words how much I miss all four of us being together. I'm at an age where I completely appreciate the value of family and the importance of togetherness... and it's really inspiring to see the same sentiment growing in my brother.

It's just so easy, all of us together - I can't remember the last time I had so much fun. There are no undertones when you're with family... no worry that you're being judged, misinterpreted, or taken advantage of. There's no room for guilt or blame... it's never a chore to be with family.

I got to thinking about the other relationships in my life, and I realized that I really can't say that for any of them. Friends, co-workers, might-be-significant-others... no matter who I'm with, it's never easy. And that's when it came to me.

I'm no good at relationships.

It's no longer enough to have the cool toys, the new clothes, or the nice car. Even though I never really had any of these things when I was growing up, I find myself wishing that such tangible accessories were still the requirements for building relationships. I have a nice car now, and I can get the cool toys and new clothes... but so far in my life, I haven't been able to acquire the trust, ease, and mutual respect that are essential to lasting relationships.

I guess once you grow older, the tangibles grow fewer. Just one of those days that makes you wish you were Peter Pan.

Some things that still make me feel like a kid:

1) I have an immense love for everything Harry Potter (although HP is arguably intended for children).
2) I laugh at poop jokes.
3) I love to play (most) board games.
4) The word "wiener" makes me giggle.
5) I am afraid of the dark.
6) I can watch nothing but cartoons all day and night.
7) I get sad if I can't talk to my parents every day.
8) I am the most ticklish person you will ever meet.
9) I love children's books and juvenile literature.
10) My favorite activity is "crunching"... obnoxiously marching through crunchy leaves.

7 comments:

Becky said...

Phil - I hope you appreciate this title, as you're my token Peter-Gabriel-loving friend.

Melanie said...

VERY cute pic of your fam! Awh I miss you and Tim dammit...

Mark said...

I adore family as well. I too wish I was Peter Pan.

Number Twelve said...

Hi BECKY!!!! I never gave up, I knew you'd come back... And what's this, no good at relationships? I think that's arguable too. I love our working relationship. And hope someday to disclose totally personal information that's not appropriate for a client/freelancer to share. Well, I did tell you about me getting fired, so that's a start. Holla back! -- No. 12

Phil said...

I'm really sorry for letting you down, but while I like me some Peter Gabriel...it's just that. *some* Peter Gabriel. I'm not to the point wher I can pick out blog titles, etc. as PG lyrics. Sorry dawg....HOLLA!

Sambo V. said...

I know what you mean about family Becky. I miss being with my family too, now that we're all scattered. Hang in there and happy holidays to you!! ;)

Frema said...

Wow! You're back! Hi!