Thursday, December 02, 2004

"Secrets collecting dust but never forget -- skeletons come to life in my closet"

I am afraid of the dark.

There. I said it. Before I typed those words just now, I think there were maybe three or four people in the world who knew that about me. I've always been really embarrassed of it and never told anyone.

It just became very important for me to let all of you in on the secret, though. Tonight a friend and I were playing the dreaded Question Game and he asked me if I could change two things about myself, what would they be. One of my answers was that I would like to be less shy in allowing people to get to know me and more open with myself and others.

I am afraid of the dark.

My first step toward acheiving my goal.

I want to explain, though. I think I'm a pretty brave person most of the time. Things that scare a lot of people don't normally scare me (movies, ghost stories, haunted stuff, the Grotto at night). Although... I might as well just put it out there, since I'm sure that Phil would have wasted no time in posting otherwise in a comment... there was this one time that I watched The Exorcist and no one else was in the apartment... I got really scared and paranoid being all alone and I had to turn off the movie. I have seen it a hundred times and it's never really scared me, except for that one night. Also... the time that Susan knew I was watching The Ring and called me from The Hub and whispered "Seven days" and then hung up was really, really scary. I think I screamed a little into the phone :)

But, anyway... aside from all the teasing and shit I'm sure I'll receive from everyone, it feels good to get it out. Now I don't have to be ashamed of setting my screen saver to click on after sixty minutes, just so I'm sure to be asleep before the room goes dark... or putting the TV on mute and setting the timer, just so there are no unidentified shadows... or feeling my hand across the wall of a darkened room to flip on the light switch before I set foot inside.

It really is rather pathetic. But ah well. So are all of your FACES!

'Night! ;)


Julia said...

Whoa...the feeling my hand across the room for the light switch...I do that too. It's cool...being afraid of the dark. I think a lot more people are that way than are willing to admit. I know that the only way I stay unafraid of the dark is by consciously repeating a mantra that I'm not afraid. But sometimes, I get scared and have to turn on a hall light while I sleep, just because I started thinking about things that are scary and they just spiraled out of control until I got scared. Anyway... I like your post. :)

Frema said...

Hey, it's alright. Once I peed my pants in the fourth grade. You get through it.

(Did I just say "peed my pants" to a co-worker...?)