Thursday, March 20, 2008

we're not gonna take it - no! we ain't gonna take it.

Two interesting things happened to me yesterday.

Interesting thing #1

Setting: The campus mailroom
Characters: Six female coworkers and one male coworker (who was, admitedly, rather removed from the conversation
Context: Various stylists at the handful of hair salons we have in town

I mentioned that I don't like the woman who usually cuts my hair, and I asked for suggestions. Everyone (except the one dude) piped up and each recommended a different girl. After a minute, someone said "Whatever you do, just don't go to Karen," and the rest of the girls agreed and shared horror stories. After describing her borderline-mullet haircut and six-inch dagger fingernails, one girl said, "She looks just like that one guy... the lead singer of Twisted Sister - remember that band? Oh, what was his name........"

Without a moment's hesitation, I shouted "DEE SNYDER!!"

Perhaps I was just a wee bit enthusiastic about it... but come on! How often does Twisted Sister and Dee Snyder come up in regular conversation? Someone had to establish themselves as the resident hair-band expert. And if that someone is me, then so be it.

Is it really so awful that I happened to know that bit of trivia? After my outburst, I was greeted by looks of disbelief from my coworkers - even the one male present looked up from his computer screen with a puzzled look on his face. After about thirty seconds of nothing but crickets chirpping and my face and ears catching fire from embarrassment, the conversation moved on while I quietly died in the corner.

Interesting thing #2

Setting: A sports bar in town
Characters: Myself and three male friends sitting at the bar, a large and very loud table of men directly behind us, and one smaller table of men towards the back
Context: The local barbershop choir that was singing in the restaurant side of the establishment

We were watching the group of six men warm up through the window partition that divided the smoking bar and the non-smoking restaurant, pondering why they chose this place of all places in town to sing at on a Wednesday evening. J joked, "I bet if I tell them it's Becky's birthday, they'll come sing to her." I excitedly said, "Yes!! If they'll come over and sing to me, it can be my birthday."

J: "Really?"
Me: "Yes!!"....... "No. Not really. That would be too embarrassing."

I should have known not to use the word "embarrassing" - J lives to discover new and creative ways to embarrass me. He's his happiest when he's making me miserable. A minute later, he got up to use the bathroom... which I would have seen for the awful lie it was had I not already been engrossed in a conversation with one of the other guys. A few minutes later, the waitress said J was coming back with the singers, and it was too late for me to do anything about it.

They crowded into the bar, pitch pipe in hand, and I told the one who appeared to be the leader that it wasn't my birthday. "Oh, that's okay, honey - you're a beautiful girl. We'd love to sing to you." It's always nice when someone says you're beautiful... but the effect is lessened somehow when the someone is wearing a red and white vertical striped vest with a matching hat and bowtie.

They tuned up and jumped right into a rousing rendition of "Sweet Adalaide." It was actually really beautiful, but I couldn't stop laughing the entire time, and I've never blushed so hard in my life. They stared at me through the whole thing with bleeding hearts in their eyes, and they had the attention of every person in the bar. It was more than just someone singing to me - more than just a group of someones singing to me - it was an actual serenade. All we needed was a balcony and a tragic hero, and we could have had our own little romance novel brewing.

When they finished, everyone clapped, and the lead guy kissed my hand. I punched J in the face (thought about it, anyway) and left shortly afterwards, my Guinness buzz making the whole evening a complete success.

It surprises me every time I'm struck with a thought of how much I'll miss this town someday. I'm sure things like this don't happen just anywhere.

7 comments:

KC said...

Hilarious! Though, if you hang with people that DON'T know who Dee Snyder is...you may want to re-think your posse.

Of course, you should probably never listen to me. Ever.

Becky said...

How do people NOT know Dee Snyder? I'm so confused.

Phil said...

It's rural Indiana, Becky. If she had yelled "Conway Twitty!!!!!!", they would have understood.

PS - I'm not familiar with Mr. Twitty's works...I just think that's an awesome name.

Jessi Louise said...

I love awkward, embarrassing moments...for other people. For me they are awkward and embarrassing. The crickets chirp for me on a regular basis.

Lone Chatelaine said...

If I had been there I would have yelled out, "Dee Snyder!" too, just as enthusiastically.

People just don't get it :)

And hey, how come when I used to click on your name in comments at my blog, it only took me to a profile, but wouldn't let me actually see a blog? Now I can see it. Weird. I would have been here before now, I promise!

Frema said...

The first year I met Luke, the Republican hird the barbershop quartet to serenade him at the office. He might not think so, but let me assure you, it was wonderful.

Frema said...

Ugh. "Hired," not "hird." Blech.