Blogging for the Blogless - Volume 2

My mistake.
I thought that a calendar entitled “he’s just not that into you” would be full of the kind of biting but true sarcasm that splashes the episodes of Sex and the City – the television series at which its authors were formerly employed. Apparently though, this little page by page calendar, which will grace my presence for the next 362 days, is a type of self-help manual… only bite size. This year, on the day of my twenty-fifth birthday, I will be greeted by the following advice: “…don’t let any man blame you for their infidelity. Ever.” Okay… It bothers me that my immediate response to that advice is to point out that it is mechanically unsound. A man is not a they and therefore cannot claim a their. A man is a he and so can only own things by way of his. Furthermore, I will be twenty-five-years old, and just because I am single, one should not imply that I have not yet figured out that a man’s inclination to be an idiot is his own fault and not mine.

My realization.
I have been single now for almost three years. In my world, this means that my tongue has not touched that of another person’s for one-thousand-ninety-five days. Normally, this would inspire a woman to rush to the local bookstore and pickup the “he’s just not that into you” calendar; however, my choice was motivated more by lack of variety and availability in the page-a-day section than lack of sex. When --- and in a voice that comes from Charlotte York (a woman created by the aforementioned authors) this thought comes --- a man does enter my bedroom this year, I won’t hurry in to make the bed or sniff the sheets or stash away the bras on the doorknob. I’ll simply slip in quickly enough to knock the page-a-day wisdom into the trash can.

My motto.
I was wearing a sequined t-shirt, bedazzled jeans, and sipping (okay slurping) an Absolut and Sprite when 2006 began. I was singing along with the rest of John Barleycorn’s drunken choir to the great Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” And so, for 2006, I will absolutely be doing just that: living on a prayer. Because really, when you stop to think about it all – what else is there? I thought, as I was singing and simultaneously counting away 2005 and into 2006, how ironic it was to be singing that song, and I couldn’t help but wonder what a year brought in on a prayer might hold in store. Honestly though, a strange calm came over me and I smiled. Perhaps it holds great things – perhaps I will play “Livin’ on a Prayer” on my very first night in my very own house. Maybe I will hum the Bon Jovi tune as I drive to my first day of grad school. It is even possible that I will make my best friend ******’s dreams come true and play the song as I march into my wedding reception. Or, it is entirely possible that I will always remember the start of 2006 when I hear that song – and remember the great possibilities a new number on the calendar seem to bring.

Yours,
Girl Friday