Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Blogging for the Blogless - Volume 2

My mistake.
I thought that a calendar entitled “he’s just not that into you” would be full of the kind of biting but true sarcasm that splashes the episodes of Sex and the City – the television series at which its authors were formerly employed. Apparently though, this little page by page calendar, which will grace my presence for the next 362 days, is a type of self-help manual… only bite size. This year, on the day of my twenty-fifth birthday, I will be greeted by the following advice: “…don’t let any man blame you for their infidelity. Ever.” Okay… It bothers me that my immediate response to that advice is to point out that it is mechanically unsound. A man is not a they and therefore cannot claim a their. A man is a he and so can only own things by way of his. Furthermore, I will be twenty-five-years old, and just because I am single, one should not imply that I have not yet figured out that a man’s inclination to be an idiot is his own fault and not mine.

My realization.
I have been single now for almost three years. In my world, this means that my tongue has not touched that of another person’s for one-thousand-ninety-five days. Normally, this would inspire a woman to rush to the local bookstore and pickup the “he’s just not that into you” calendar; however, my choice was motivated more by lack of variety and availability in the page-a-day section than lack of sex. When --- and in a voice that comes from Charlotte York (a woman created by the aforementioned authors) this thought comes --- a man does enter my bedroom this year, I won’t hurry in to make the bed or sniff the sheets or stash away the bras on the doorknob. I’ll simply slip in quickly enough to knock the page-a-day wisdom into the trash can.

My motto.
I was wearing a sequined t-shirt, bedazzled jeans, and sipping (okay slurping) an Absolut and Sprite when 2006 began. I was singing along with the rest of John Barleycorn’s drunken choir to the great Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” And so, for 2006, I will absolutely be doing just that: living on a prayer. Because really, when you stop to think about it all – what else is there? I thought, as I was singing and simultaneously counting away 2005 and into 2006, how ironic it was to be singing that song, and I couldn’t help but wonder what a year brought in on a prayer might hold in store. Honestly though, a strange calm came over me and I smiled. Perhaps it holds great things – perhaps I will play “Livin’ on a Prayer” on my very first night in my very own house. Maybe I will hum the Bon Jovi tune as I drive to my first day of grad school. It is even possible that I will make my best friend ******’s dreams come true and play the song as I march into my wedding reception. Or, it is entirely possible that I will always remember the start of 2006 when I hear that song – and remember the great possibilities a new number on the calendar seem to bring.

Girl Friday


Frema said...

If you think we're going to accept an entry written by someone else after you've been in hiding for almost a month, you are WRONG, missy!

Becky said...

sorry, Frema... I promise to come back soon.

Phil said...