Monday, January 10, 2005

"Back to being who I was before"

Well... in exactly four months from today, I will be a college graduate. I desperately wanted to avoid the typical stereotypes... thinking in the mindset of "lasts," rushing to do everything at once, worrying that there's not enough time for it all... but now that I'm back at school, everything I've successfully avoided over Christmas break has come back to haunt me. As soon as I unlocked my bedroom door in the apartment, resume horrors, career worries, and friendships that soon will have to end attacked me.

Tonight I am back to being who I was before. I have four more months to play the role of the daughter who calls her mother every Saturday afternoon, the friend who still can't muster up enough courage to introduce herself to the cute guy across the bar, and the sympathetic roommate lending an ear into all hours of the night... the roles I have played for the past three and a half years... the roles I'm not yet ready to give up.

Three years at this place... this tiny dot on the road map of central Indiana, this miniscule point in the linear scale of our lives... three years at this place surely has given me a lot to miss. It's also given me a lot to be thankful for, and a lot to look back at.

Go hang your glory on the wall
There comes a time when castles fall
And all that's left is shifting in the sand

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