"It seemed to him that lonely was much better than alone."

Well, tonight I put the books down and decided to go out with my roommates. We went down to Core XI... my third time this year (including Homecoming, which doesn't really count)... and I remembered why I never go down there anymore. I came in with three people. After the initial scan of the occupants of the bar, I realized I knew five people. Total. Including the three who walked in behind me. Before I even had secured my coat on the hook, I was ready to leave.

It bugs me that even on the one night on whichI set out to acheive optimism and start acting like it's my last year of college, I still got pissed off at stupid people and bummed at how lame campus is this year. I'm the type of person who can have two beers and feel great for the rest of the night, but I was nearly drunk tonight and barely had an ounce of fun. The only redeeming factor of the night was when Sandra, Cortny, and I made a game out of coming up with different stereotypes for the moron athletes that filled the bar.

Possibly inspired by Frema, here are a list of things, in no particular order, that I miss most about Core XI, waaaay back when it used to be the place to be:

* Money holding my hand under the table
* Going outside for a cigarette and cell phone check with Jen
* Ligda conducting the bar's shitty rap music to himself
* Making eyes across the room at Annie when she was with her soccer friends for the night
* Throwing ice cubes or chewed up straws at Bridget
* Being recognized as soon as I walked through the double doors
* Shamelessly flirting with guys I knew would never go for me
* Not caring that said guys would never go for me
* Knowing the name of and being able to recall at least a handful of past conversations with every single person present in the bar
* Wearing aviators, a feather boa, a funny hat, or a lai out for the night because... well, just because

Well, there you have it. No more of this "having fun" business for me... I think next time I turn down a beer in favor of a book or a pen and paper, I won't feel like so much of a loser. Paraphrased from the best voicemail I've received in a very, very, very long time, I guess I just didn't realize how much those times with my friends meant to me until now. Now that all I have are ghosts and judgmental strangers scanning me from across the room, I realize how much I miss my friends and don't have anything here now that compares to what I had then.

If this post failed to provide you with anything else, I hope that you all at least have an image of John Ligda keeping time and conducting songs such as "Pimp Juice," "Ghetto Musick," and "Get Low" in a loud and filled-to-the-brim college bar.